PYEONGCHANG, South Korea – Nick Goepper didn’t know how to change spark plugs, but the skier needed to learn. He yearned for a distraction from the disappointment of X Games, where he didn’t ski his best and finished seventh.
So he tinkered on is truck, the other fun part of off-roading. He read books. He did anything to right his mind.
Nick Goepper will ski in the men's slopestyle event at the Pyeongchang Olympics.
Before he came to Pyeongchang to compete in his second Olympics, Goepper used the things he’s learned in his path from Sochi bronze medalist to rehab and back to world-class skier.
“Someone commented, they’re like, oh, it looked like he was about to cry on camera at the bottom (at X Games),” Goepper said of last month's competition. “And honestly I kind of was. I was just really emotional after the event. But it’s important to recognize that for what it is and learn from it and come back from it.”
It’s Goepper’s ability to do that which has him mentally in a better place than he’s been since Sochi.
As part of the U.S. sweep in freeskiing slopestyle's debut — with Joss Christensen winning gold and Gus Kenworthy taking silver — Goepper was swept in the whirlwind of media obligations, parties and feeling like a celebrity.
Of course, it couldn’t last.
The trio were on Letterman and a Corn Flakes box. Voodoo Doughnut made one in his honor. He asked Taylor Swift to be his Valentine and held an #IWantToDateNick Twitter contest.
“I think after the Olympic sweep I got caught up a lot with the social media and some of the celebrity idea, like I’m a celebrity, I’m super cool, I can do whatever I want and just partying with my friends and whatnot,” Goepper said. “I think that initial high, that initial rush, it took me a while to sort of really process all that had happened during the whole Olympic cycle and now I think I’m much better off because of that.”
After that glut of commitments died down, Goepper’s mind would wander in the idle time. Often, he’d drink. The summer would be worse, without a competition to train for or a packed schedule of sponsor or media obligation.
He was depressed. He drank a lot in short periods of time. He contemplated suicide.
“I started to really question myself and my motives, having these crazy existential questions like why am I doing this?” he said. “What is the point?”
Goepper, 23, had what he called “deep drops.”
In an X Games interview, Goepper’s mother, Linda, said he called her and said he was considering drinking a whole bottle of vodka in Lambs Canyon in Utah.
Goepper’s parents convinced him to go to a rehab center, and he spent 60 days in one in Texas during the fall of 2015.
A supportive community
“I had a fantastic, life-changing experience,” Goepper said. “I just feel very fortunate that my family and my situation I was able to take advantage of that resource.”
Goepper learned to journal there. He started reading and hasn’t stopped since, opting for actual books over an e-reader so he can start a collection for the house he wants to buy this year.
Though some people in the recovery center recognized him, he didn’t talk about being a skier or an Olympic medalist. Goepper learned he wasn’t special, that millions of people suffer from depression.
“It just familiarized myself with a really supportive community of people who had inflicted the same things upon them,” Goepper said. “I thought that was really uplifting and really cool to be able to talk about that.”
Goepper hasn’t had a drink since Sept. 26, 2015, right before he left for Texas. Initially, that series of small, conscious decisions felt difficult. But after the first year, it became normal
Nick Goepper, shown here training in Pyeongchang, won the bronze medal at the 2014 Olympics.
“I don’t make silly decisions on the weekends,” he said. “I think almost have better relationships because of it. I don’t spend $200 bar tabs on the weekend. I think there’s a lot of little things that add up.”
Goepper’s time in rehab helped him re-prioritize relationships and learn skiing doesn’t have to be everything. So he spends time focusing on his other interests, which is why weeks before he was set to compete in these Olympics, he was teaching himself how to change spark plugs.
Goepper hopes to contend for a medal, but regardless of how he does, he’s better prepared for what comes after the Olympics.
“I’m gonna ski my best in Korea. It all comes down to one day, which is kind of crazy,” he said. “But I’ve just added more to my life now that I have to just to look forward to.”
Axon also reported from Park City, Utah, and Breckenridge, Colo.
