Perchance might we regale thee, dear reader, with a tale of both innocence and valor?
Once upon a time last week, in fair Cornwall, England, where we lay our scene, a young girl waded the fabled waters of Dozmary Pool. 'Twas there, legend has it, a dying King Arthur left his famed sword, Excalibur, the Mirror reported.
With a golden sun overhead, Matilda Jones of Doncaster glimpsed a treasure within the water's depths.
The seven-year-old called to her father, who replied with disbelief.
"I told her not to be silly and it was probably a bit of fencing," Paul Jones, 51, told the newspaper. "But when I looked down I realized it was a sword. It was just there laying flat on the bottom of the lake."
Could it be? The two, pure in heart, retrieved the perhaps enchanted blade. It measured four feet in length — precisely Matilda's height, her father realized.
King Arthur first received Excalibur at Dozmary Pool, from the mysterious Lady of the Lake, as the Mirror recalled. His loyal knight, Sir Bedivere, cast it into the water after the king's mortal wounding at war.
Some even believed Excalibur's owner to be the rightful monarch of England, the Kansas City Star reported. Hath England a new queen?
Alas, Matilda's ruler seemed loathe to bend his knee.
“I don’t think it’s particularly old," the father told the Mirror. "It’s probably an old film prop.”
Cast thine eyes on an image of our hero and blade below:
Follow Josh Hafner on Twitter: @joshhafner
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