Sexting: More Common Among Teens Than Many Think

ATLANTA -- Remember when phones only did one thing -- allowed you to call people?

That was generations ago, before texting and e-mail, and phones that take photos and video. In the hands of our teenagers, those advances have advanced relationships between boys and girls, taking it to a shockingly explicit level.

Five teenagers and their parents came to 11Alive's Midtown studios and sat down with reporter Jaye Watson to have a no-holds-barred conversation about sexual texting -- or "sexting."

• IN DEPTH: What Every Parent Needs To Know About Sexting

Watson asked the five teens, "How many of you have friends that have sent naked photos of themselves to someone?"

All five hands shot into the air.

"How many of you have received naked photos of someone?" asked Watson.

Two hands shot up. One belonged to Desi Raines. Raines received his sext message from a classmate that liked him. The two had never dated.

"What was the image you received, what was it a picture of?" Watson asked.

"Her, completely nude," Desi answered.

"What did you think when you received it?"

"I thought wow, because hormones are raging," Desi said. "I got a little excited."

"Did you tell your mom?" Watson asked.

"Well, she knows now," Desi said, laughing.

The entire group laughed -- including Desi's mother. Watson asked her what she thought about it.

"I'm not shocked, but I'm shocked that my son didn't tell me about it," she said.

Gracie Kessenich got a sext message too.

"He was in his bathroom," Gracie said.

"Was he a boyfriend?" Watson asked.

"It was just a guy. We were talking, which is like pre-dating," Gracie answered.

She described the photo he sent her.

"It was from mid-thigh up," she said.

"Naked?" Watson asked for clarification.

"Yes," Gracie said.

"Did you tell your mom?"

"No." she said.

Teens are using sexting to court boyfriends or girlfriends.

"I know some of my friends thinking that they have to do it, they like to do it, because they want to keep the guys interested," Gracie said.

Guys who sometimes forward that picture, or at least show it to their friends.

"A guy will say 'hey check out this text this girl sent to me' and then that guy will go and tell everyone," said Michael Gale.

Hitting send and losing control is not a concept teenagers understand.

"Children live very open lives and they're very used to being watched. They're used to being not private. and things that reallly blow us away do not blow them away," said Stacy Dewitt.

Dewitt runs Connect With Kids and is an expert on kids issues.

"Remember, your child doesn't have the life experience that you do. I always say they're smart about technology but they're stupid about life. They're also very desensitized about sex and so they have different attitudes and they have different tools than we had at their age," Dewitt said.

All five of our teens say they've never sent a sext message.

"Just because other people are doing it doesn't mean you should," said Ali Lloyd.

But some of their parents were surprised to learn how common it has become. While many people think that sexting is common among high school students, actually, middle school students are the ones who abuse the practice the most.

"But where is the kid with morals and ethics? Are those kids invisible now -- are they gone?" said Ali's mom, Laura Lloyd.

Gracie's mother, Sharon Kessenich said, "They're still saying the same thing which surprises me that a girl would send a picture to get a boyfriend. I don't know how they think like that."

Parents feel powerless but shouldn't. Dewitt says parents need to do two things, educate themselves, and their kids.

"You have to say to them 'Here's what the ethics are in our family -- no sexting, no posting pictures that you wouldn't show to someone else'," said Dewitt. "I always say that if you wouldn't show it to me or say it to me, your mother, don't do it online and for goodnes sake, don't do it on a cellphone.

Dewitt also recommends parents take away cell phones at a certain time every night and turn them off.

And make your teen understand that you can look at their phone anytime -- then make sure you do. But also understand that a lot of teenagers today see sexting this way that Gracie Kessenich describes it.

"You see sex on the TV all the time," Gracie said. "It's not, I don't want to say it's not a big deal but honestly, it's not."