The Teenage World of Facebook

ATLANTA -- It's the ultimate social networking website and it's getting more popular with parents every day. But the way you use Facebook is not the way your teen uses Facebook.

For this generation, Facebook has replaced face to face communication, talking on the phone, even e-mail.

High schooler Gracie Kessenich said, "If I have a project or something we find each other on Facebook. We don't exchange e-mails anymore."

Which makes Facebook a very large part of teenagers' lives. A group of five teenagers and their parents came to 11Alive's Midtown studios to talk with reporter Jaye Watson.

RELATED: Parents Guide To Facebook

"Are all of you on Facebook?" Watson asked.

All five hands shot up.

"Are all of you on Facebook?" Watson asked the parents.

Only one hand went up and other parents said no, with one mother saying "Absolutely not."

Elba Gale is the one parent out of the group who is on Facebook.

"They have friended me on Facebook, so I can go on their Facebook," Gale said.

Gale's son is quick to point out what some of his friends do to keep their parents in the dark, even when they're on Facebook.

"I know a lot of people who have put their parents on a limited profile," he said. "They go 'oh Mom, I don't have any pictures,' because if you put them on a limited profile they can't see your status updates, they can't see the posts on your wall if you don't let them. You can pick or choose what they want to see."

The way for parents to see it all? Get your child's password -- something teen expert Stacey Dewitt says all parents should do. And something else parents should do? Join the club.

"I would recommend that any parent who has not experienced Facebook or MySpace, sign up for Facebook," she said. "You can always take it down. You don't have to be online forever but it's really helpful to understand what they're dealing with inside a social network."

Dewitt describes Facebook for teenagers as a virtual party, one that can be addictive, even harmful.

"You start to see pictures of parties you weren't invited to, that makes you feel a certain way. You start to read messages back and forth between other people and get a window into their world," Dewitt said.

Try to remember just for a moment, what it felt like when you were a teen, to want to belong, to fit in, to not stand out for the wrong reasons. Rumors back then were spread by letters or phone or face to face. Now a single damaging sentence can be sent to hundreds of your child's peers with a single click.

"When I go to a party and everyone is mean to me what do I do? I generally leave. I'm not going to stand around at a party where nobody is being nice to me," Dewitt said. "(But) I'm an adult. Children do the exact opposite. When people are being mean to them, when they're making fun of them on the web they tend to try to work themselves out of it. They tend to try to say sexual things, or shocking things, to try to get people to like them."

And your child's private world is very public on Facebook. Some teens learn they've been dumped only after they see their boyfriend or girlfriend has changed their status back to single.

"I feel like friendships come and go because of Facebook posts," said high schooler Ali Lloyd.

Dewitt says good kids will write horrible things they would never otherwise say because they don't have to face the person they're writing about.

"They don't feel empathy, compassion, they don't feel bad because it's anonymous and I get no feedback," said Dewitt.

Dewitt says parents need to limit time spent online -- that hours at a time is not okay. Laptops should be handed over and turned off at a certain time every night.

Dewitt says parents should tell their teens, "This is not private and I'm going to remind you. I'm going to have your password and I'm going to be looking at it. You want to have a private life, good. Talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend in person or on the phone."

Dad Arthur Griffiths and his high school daughter Candasi may have said it best.

"They know what we expect of them and everyday they live up to that level of respect and expectation," said Arthur.

And Candasi said, "I want to make sure that the person that I am is the same person that I am on Facebook."