(USA Today) -- Fans of NFL schadenfreude, which is probably most of us at this point, will enjoy the forecast coming out of the 197-year-old Farmer's Almanac.
The book is calling for a big snow storm with bitter-cold temperatures hitting the northeast between Feb. 1 and 3, which coincides with the first Super Bowl played outdoors in a cold-weather city on Feb. 2.
"It really looks like the Super Bowl may be the Storm Bowl," Sandi Duncan, the almanac's managing editor, told the Associated Press of New York's inaugural Super Bowl hosting gig.
Okay, first off: We need to work on your soundbites, Sandi. Surely we can come up with something better than "the Storm Bowl."
Nevertheless, this is obviously Roger Goodell's apocalyptic scenario. A snowstorm that cripples transit on the east coast would have major repercussions on the premiere event on the sporting calendar. It would affect travel plans for fans, could shift the date of the game (playing Saturday is one contingency) and, worst of all, would lead to dozens of self-serving columns in major newspapers by folks who aren't really upset about the storm's impact on the game, just on the storm's impact on themselves. "Won't someone please think of Mike Lupica's travel plans?"
The obvious question is: How accurate is the Farmer's Almanac at predicting storms five months from now? The chief prognosticator tells the AP that he missed this year's massive east coast storm by a few days. With a track record like that, maybe he can also tell us who's going to be playing in the "Storm Bowl."
While I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a blizzard, both because it would show how ridiculous a cold-weather Super Bowl is and because football in the snow is awesome, I'm predicting the opposite. The sun always shines on the NFL, so expect it to be a balmy 49 degrees at kickoff with a meteor shower dashing across the sky as Jay-Z, Bon Jovi and Bruce Springsteen finish their halftime show at the Peyton-Eli Bowl.